Supposedly I used to be able to write, and even write poetry, but those years seem long gone, since I don’t have anything to complain over. I always better at complaining through writing.

In any case, I decided to give writing a try, by writing about my pets. This is the first poem in a series of six about my pets.

Ralphie

He never sees a hole not to dig
He never stops his breakfast jig
His bark is loud, constant, and deep
He gives us so many memories to keep

His snout slightly grayed and covered in mud
His body, long and lean, a true canine stud
He loves to sleep , curl up and snore
Taking care of him is never a chore

He loves to take walks, and trot along
He’s great on a leash, never does wrong
Just say “Walk” and that tail wags
His nose to the ground, he never lags

He grunts, and snarls, to rule the home
He’s the king of where he roams
Sitting on the top of his sofa throne
Keeping all away from his treasure bone

Then at night, he runs on ahead
In the room, up the ramp, onto bed
He puts his head down for a dream
As quiet and content as he ever seems

He softly barks at dreamland prey
Never catching what he sees every day
We always smile at Ralphie at rest
Of all our dogs, he sleeps the best

Well, after avoiding really using it for anything other than testing particular banners for my job, I’m linking to my myspace profile here, and actually inviting people to be my “friend.”

http://www.myspace.com/vissud

I know lots of people take issue with the style of Christopher Hitchens. I don’t agree with him on every issue, and I think his style can sometimes take away the power of his arguments. However, there is one thing that Hitchens is dead on almost every time: religion. His book, The Missionary Position, which revealed to me more filth and evil about Mother Theresa than I ever imagined, is possibly his best work. When I had him, in obvious sarcasm, sign a picture of Mother Theresa for my wife, he gleefully called Mother Theresa a “fucking cunt”.

Here are some links to transcripts, where Hitchens obliterates Jerry Falwell. Must reads.

Hannity & Colmes Transcript

Anderson Cooper 360 (quarter way down the page)

Update: I made it clearer that Hitchens was calling Mother Theresa a cunt, and not my wife.

The last minute rush for Mother’s Day gifts is nothing new. Legions of forgetful (mostly) sons and daughters used to rush into drug stores, conveniences stores or whatever the closest center of commerce was. In the digital age, online gift shopping has replaced a lot of this last minute shopping. Chocolates, flowers, and gift certificates can all be ordered online with amazingly quick turn around.

According to this article from Australia, a new, disturbing trend is developing:

More Men Flock to Universal Psychic Guild in Time for Mother’s Day

Instead of receiving flowers that liven up a room, chocolates that make a nice treat, or even a gift certificate to buy something useful, men are resorting to psychic based crap. Wonderful.

Every survey I’ve ever seen indicates that by a vast margin, women are far more likely to buy psychic based crap. Online readings, horoscopes, phone readings are all popular with women, so of course, it’s a natural fit for men to buy for women the same psychic crap. It’s like kicking society when its down. First you have lazy forgetful men, who then compound the problem by pushing garbage. Wonderful